Pear Shapely Fashion Catastrophe: More Asscapades

November 25, 2009 at 10:26 am (Just Because, Pear Shapely Nevers) (, , , , , , , , , )

Writing this blog has become a near daily experience for me and I have a ritualistic approach to generate my topics. With green tea in hand, I peruse my favorite websites in order to find inspiration for my postings. Time and time again PeopleofWalmart.com has become my safety net because of the absurdity they collect and today we have another Asscapades extravaganza:

What was this poor creature thinking when she left her house, ‘I paid $55 for the full Brazilian so I want to get my money’s worth?’ Seriously, I would gladly pay her back twofold to put her business under lock and key.

My dear pear shaped ladies, today’s fashion tip  you need to always remember is that barring topless beaches in Europe, public nudity is not a viable option. Generally, if you are gorgeous and have a rocking body you will just come off as cheap. If your thighs have more ripples then the ocean then frankly, all the land-lubbers will get a little sea sick. Please be kind, and cover that behind!

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Pear Shaped Don’ts, Harem Pants

November 17, 2009 at 10:40 am (Pear Shapely Nevers) (, , , )

As some one who lived through the 80’s I have some memories. Some are fond, some are blurry and many of them are tainted with the recollection of really bad fashion. Mullets, frosted hair, acid wash, stirrup pants and enormous shoulder pads all evolved during this time period and with the “power of Greyskull” that is where it all should stay.

Unfortunately, one of these trends just won’t die are harem pants. The diaper like garment are being touted by many fashion magazines as the hot trend (for shame Lucky Mag). However, us common folk most likely associate this look with M.C. Hammer:

Even though his third album pleaded to the rap master “Please Hammer, Don’t Hurt ‘Em” this shapeless pant craze did exactly that. The Hammer was smart with his style choices. He picked up on a pant style that dated back to the 16th century and made it his own and the end result was brilliant marketing.

However if you are a pear shaped woman looking to put your mark on the harem pants movement, the simple answer is DON’T. The extra draping of the fabric will just add unwanted visual inches onto your lower torso plus it will always look like you are carrying an extra load of something.

Even gorgeous tennis pro Maria Sharapova had trouble pulling off this look and if anyone could look hot in a white, swaddle inspired style it is this vixen:

Even her lithe figure looks pear shaped sporting this craptastic style.

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People of Walmart Fashion Catastrophes

November 2, 2009 at 9:26 am (Just Because, Pear Shapely Nevers) (, , , , , , )

Confidence is the number one characteristic needed to carry off any type of fashion trend. However, like anything else, too much of it can be dangerous and the site People of Walmart seems to prove it time and time again.

.Pear Shaped Fashion Catastrophe: Asscapades!

This poor creature looks like she was cleaning some of her intimate spaces with a wash-cloth, was caught by surprise and ran out the door with the fabric gently stored between her but cheeks for future use. But alas, the reality is she knew almost exactly what she was doing when she choose this outfit for the day.

This fashion disaster could have been easily avoided and we can all benefit from her mistakes. The dark color on top with the light shorts just emphasizes her bottom heavy nature and short-shorts should just be made illegal as the fashion police write too many citations for this crime.

This lass could be a radiant being if she only took the time to visit Pear Shapely and benefit from the words posted here. Luckily, you are wisely learning from her mistakes and know that if you have a pear shaped body, this is your number one resource for fashion tips, discount codes and valuable insight pertinent to us maintaining or lovely figures.

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Pear Shaped Fashion Catastrophe: Asscapades!

October 5, 2009 at 1:13 pm (Pear Shapely Nevers) (, , )

More people need to do a double take in the mirror before leaving the house to ensure that everything that should be covered is and that no one should have to see your truly dirty little secrets. Courtesy of the hilarity of Fail Blog here is a prime example of this fashion tip that all people, pear shaped, apple shaped or spaghetti shaped near to adhere to:

Epic Skirt Fail: Failblog.com

Seriously, this disaster makes me long for her to cover up her assets with the Winky Jeans.

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