Writing this blog has become a near daily experience for me and I have a ritualistic approach to generate my topics. With green tea in hand, I peruse my favorite websites in order to find inspiration for my postings. Time and time again PeopleofWalmart.com has become my safety net because of the absurdity they collect and today we have another Asscapades extravaganza:
What was this poor creature thinking when she left her house, ‘I paid $55 for the full Brazilian so I want to get my money’s worth?’ Seriously, I would gladly pay her back twofold to put her business under lock and key.
My dear pear shaped ladies, today’s fashion tip you need to always remember is that barring topless beaches in Europe, public nudity is not a viable option. Generally, if you are gorgeous and have a rocking body you will just come off as cheap. If your thighs have more ripples then the ocean then frankly, all the land-lubbers will get a little sea sick. Please be kind, and cover that behind!
As some one who lived through the 80’s I have some memories. Some are fond, some are blurry and many of them are tainted with the recollection of really bad fashion. Mullets, frosted hair, acid wash, stirrup pants and enormous shoulder pads all evolved during this time period and with the “power of Greyskull” that is where it all should stay.
Unfortunately, one of these trends just won’t die are harem pants. The diaper like garment are being touted by many fashion magazines as the hot trend (for shame Lucky Mag). However, us common folk most likely associate this look with M.C. Hammer:
Even though his third album pleaded to the rap master “Please Hammer, Don’t Hurt ‘Em” this shapeless pant craze did exactly that. The Hammer was smart with his style choices. He picked up on a pant style that dated back to the 16th century and made it his own and the end result was brilliant marketing.
However if you are a pear shaped woman looking to put your mark on the harem pants movement, the simple answer is DON’T. The extra draping of the fabric will just add unwanted visual inches onto your lower torso plus it will always look like you are carrying an extra load of something.
Even gorgeous tennis pro Maria Sharapova had trouble pulling off this look and if anyone could look hot in a white, swaddle inspired style it is this vixen:
Even her lithe figure looks pear shaped sporting this craptastic style.
More people need to do a double take in the mirror before leaving the house to ensure that everything that should be covered is and that no one should have to see your truly dirty little secrets. Courtesy of the hilarity of Fail Blog here is a prime example of this fashion tip that all people, pear shaped, apple shaped or spaghetti shaped near to adhere to:
Seriously, this disaster makes me long for her to cover up her assets with the Winky Jeans.