Halloween Costume “Don’ts” for Pear Shapely Women

October 9, 2009 at 5:47 pm (Just Because, Pear Shapely Nevers) (, , , )

Halloween Costume Don't

Halloween is right around the corner and you can tap into your inner super hero, favorite animal, zombie or what-have-you. Donning a costume that is store-bought, rented or home made will allow you to lower your inhibitions naturally (as long as everyone else is also dressed up) and let you live out your fantasies for a night.

However, no one wants to end up having a Halloween Hangover filled with regret for the costume they chose. By putting a little thought into the big day now, you can easily avoid the regret of the day after. Some costume “don’ts” for anyone, including pear shaped women include (in no particular order):

  1. Any type of jumpsuit ensemble: Whether you want to go as a member of Devo or Cat Woman, not only is the fabric extremely unforgiving, but going to the bathroom is a pain in the Pear Shaped buttocks.
  2. “Sexy” anything off the rack: Dressing up sexy is always part of the Halloween fun. However costumes with “sexy” in the name tend to look cheap and if they have to call it “sexy” in reality it is probably not. Plus imagine the walk of shame home the day after?
  3. Anything that is outside of your ethnicity: Pear shaped or not, you risk coming off as a bit of racist, so why even take the chance.   This rule does not apply to fictional ethnicities however like Smurfs, Martians and the like.
  4. Any type of fat suit: Not flattering, not cute and not at all comfortable.
  5. Overexposed celebrities: Aren’t we all a bit sick of Paris Hilton, Sarah Palin and Kate Gossling? Please just try to let sleeping dogs lie.
  6. Dressing like a hooker: Why portray being a slave to the sex industry when dressing up like a pimp will give you all the power.
  7. Sporting the look of a tourist: Mom jeans, fanny packs, a slogan T-shirt and a camera is all it will take to make your butt look big and make you look at least 10 years older
  8. Conceptual Costumes: Do you really want to spend all night explaining that you are a “numerical sequence,”  “Freudian slip” or “behind the eight ball?” I think not.
  9. Rubber Mask of Anyone: Your face won’t breath, the toxic fumes will make you light-headed and quite frankly, they are a big pain in the ass.
  10. Using “Drag” Makeup: If you put on so much make-up that you resemble a “drag-queen” gender confusion may ensue and you ultimately may be extremely upset with the results.
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